Mom always made us write thank you notes.
My Grandmother, Mammy, used to take months to painstakingly knit ghastly itchy sweaters and send them to my sister, Margo, and me for the holidays. Scarves, too.
At least Margo’s were in semi-pleasant colors but mine were usually green. Mammy knew that Emerald was my birth month’s color and she didn’t take into account that I looked like a turtle in that color.
Mom had a rule: you must write a thank you note within the week. I’d wrack my little brains and come up with something pathetic like: Dear Mammy, Thank you for the nice sweater. Love, Lois.
Mom put the kibosh on that and sent me back to my desk. Eventually, I’d come up with something half decent, longer anyway:
Dear Mammy, The green sweater is very warm and will come in handy this year as the winds are howling here in Long Beach. Thank you for knitting it for me, and spending all that time to make me a nice sweater like this one. Love, Lois
Mom smiled. She was right, of course. It didn’t matter that I looked like a red eared tortoise in the sweater; I had to show my gratitude.
The idea holds in business too. When I spend time now to write notes to clients to thank them for the kind things they say about us, for their business, for a lunch we’ve had together, they appreciate it. Here are some ideas you might want to try:
· Write a hand-written thank you note and be specific about what you appreciated (at the meeting, or the gift, etc).
· An email thank you is nice as long as you also send the written one.
· I also try to remember birthdays. One time I was speaking about this on a podium and a lady raised her hand and said the only birthday card she got that year was from her oil burner man. That was sad. Made a birthday list and be sure to mail all the cards for that month in the beginning of the month.
· Send gifts to people who are important to you. This week I received a wonderful present from a friend in Canada: Red Olympic mittens. I love them, and the best part was that they were unexpected, although it is coldish in Miami these days.
· We’re all so over-booked every day, and so once every few weeks I write out cards “I miss you” so I don’t lose touch with people I care about. You might try that too. It feels good.
My friend Andrea Nierenberg, the Queen of Networking, writes three notes every day. I’ve gotten into the habit myself. You might try it too, and let me know how it works. Also, tell me your ideas here on comments!
8 comments
I ♥ this idea Lois! It is very important to say THANK YOU when someone has gone out of their way to do something nice. A phone call is also nice…especially when you haven’t heard their voice in awhile! I used to be so much better at this…and needed this little reminder to put my personal self out there in busines as well as family and friendship! GREAT BLOG on a rainy FL day! ☼ Y~Y~VP
Thank you for reminding people about the power of a hand-written note. It has served me well in my personal and professional life. In business, people recieve so many emails, that a simple, hand-written note says more than an email ever could. Over the years handwritten noted have strengthened friendships, business relationships, and opened many doors for me. Thanks, Mom.
Great story Lois, and important lesson here with all the technology people have at their fingertips these days. I like the idea of birthday cards, that’s a fun way to stay in touch with clients that is more personal and remind them hopefully of how much they like doing business with you. I guess the trick is just finding the time to do that, but as with most things, if it’s worth doing you make time to do it. Right?
A little thoughfulness goes a long way! And yes, it does in business, too. The trick is to keep it heartfelt and real. Better to write a few, authentic ones a day than get into automating it. Thus, the power of the handwritten note!
Hi Lois,
You are so right! All you have to do is receive one from someone who’s important to you, and you understand immediately how powerful they are. It’s a secret weapon that will only get more effective as it becomes increasingly rare.
Great article, Lo and thank you so much for the nice mention.
One of my notes today was to YOU!
You are the best!
Andrea
You’ve made a valid and interesting point, Lois.
I absolutely agree with Jane. In our high-tech world, taking the low-tech approach with a hand-written note will undoubtedly foster greater connections; both professional and personal.
When I receive a handwritten note or card, I tend to keep it longer. An emailed “thank you” seems much more impersonal to me; so I usually delete it immediately after reading it. Any show of appreciation is better than none, of course. I suppose it just boils down to the kind of impression you’d like to make with someone.
Hello Lois
What a breathe of fresh air you are!!!
I literally stumbled across your website via a search for dry cleaning training. I am in the process of setting up my own training business and I found your website and your comments an inspiration. Thank you so much for restoring my faith in good old fashioned common sense and thoughfulness.
Best wishes Pam – England – UK
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